The Stigma Surrounding Men's Mental Health

Women are much more emotional than men!

Man up!

Real men don’t cry.

Chances are, you’ve heard any one of these three phrases at least once in your life. Whether it be in your own house, at a movie, or anywhere in public.

If you experience misogyny, then you’re well aware of and affected by how the male gender is associated with strength in stoicism and how the female gender is associated with weakness in sentimentality.

If you don’t experience misogyny, though, then you may have another horrid society-instigated

struggle within yourself.

Emotions Are Okay, Regardless Of What Society Says

When society claims that women are more emotional because they tend to be more expressive, it ridicules something that is perfectly fine and healthy. We are social animals, and emotions play as important a role in our lives as logic and other factors do.

Unfortunately, society praises men for being stoic and emotionless, when in reality, that’s not true. Gender doesn’t change the severity of feelings felt by men against that of women. Men also feel scared, anxious, vulnerable, pained, lost, and more. You may not witness men exhibiting such emotions because our patriarchal society holds problematic standards for them too.

From the get-go, boys are told not to be girly and are always referred to as ‘strong’ and ‘brave’. The expectation for boys to be leaders, ever successful, and proud breadwinners put a lot of pressure on them.

Sensitive boys are told to man up. Emotionally stunted boys are praised for being strong and continue to repress their pain and confusion as a result.

Growing up, these boys end up dealing with the repercussions of an unhealthy childhood, some boys worse off than others depending on upbringing and whatnot.

Telling anyone not to be emotional is like telling a shark not to eat any of the creatures surrounding it.

Pointless and counterproductive.

So, What Happens When Society Coerces Boys Into Growing Up To Become Apathetic Men?

Truth is, boys will feel emotions, and they’ll hate themselves for it, and they’ll project it onto their peers as a coping mechanism. Or they’ll indulge in other coping mechanisms like drugs, alcohol, smoking, and overexposure to escapism. As a matter of fact, psychology states that men are more likely to use these coping mechanisms rather than talk about their burdens and pain.

What society calls ‘male assertiveness’ tends to be unbridled anger, more often than not. Yet anger is also an emotion, and it is deeply stigmatized for women. If women show anger, they’re ‘whiny’, ‘sentimental’, ‘prudish’, ‘disgraceful’, and more. Men’s anger, on the other hand, is seen as a sign of dominance and a display of power.

These sexist expectations hurt everybody. In the case of men, they shun their own emotions and may find a lot of difficulty in upholding meaningful long-term relationships with other men or women. They also become more prone to developing mental illnesses and these illnesses will, of course, go undiagnosed and get worse.

How Bad Is It?

According to statistics from the UK, three times as many men as women die by suicide, and the highest suicide rates belong to men aged 40 to 49. It has also been reported that men don’t find nearly as much satisfaction in their lives as women do, which serves as a reason for these saddening statistics. Men from minorities also struggle with both sexist standards and other discrimination like homophobia and racism.

The worst part is, men in other countries besides the UK go through much, much worse. In Asian countries, the high standards for men and the belittlement of women are taken to another extreme. Sexism is much more prevalent, so one can only imagine how much worse it is.

What’s The Solution?

It is National Men’s Mental Health Month, and this month, we all try to spread awareness about men’s mental health and the stigma surrounding it.

For issues like these, though, there is no quick solution. Uprooting all these standards and making the world a safe space for men to exhibit their emotions in healthy ways will take generations. To put it into perspective, misogyny still exists, and women have spent centuries combating it. De-stigmatizing men’s mental health may take as long or even longer.

Better now than never, though.

Both men and society have to change their perceptions of emotions for positive change to occur. Some simple changes could go a long way and set an example for others.

Awareness is a huge part of the solution. Explaining the detrimental effects of ignoring men’s mental health can allow people to think for themselves and motivate them to take steps to fix it. Men themselves will feel relieved, validated, and encouraged to vocalize their emotions and take care of themselves more.

If you’re a man who needs somewhere to start or somebody looking for advice, here are a few steps to take today!

1. Make Sleep A Priority: This one is a personal priority of mine. Exclusive to no gender, we all need sleep to function on a daily basis and be productive. Otherwise, we add to our list of problems and simply deprive ourselves of a basic necessity. Sleeping allows your mind to take a break from its stress and improves your mood.
   

2. Keep In Touch With Loved Ones: Another way to process your emotions and calm yourself down is to have pleasant and open conversations with friends who are willing to listen and learn. Isolation is good for nobody, and by texting somebody a kind message, you could change the trajectory of their entire day.
   

3. Balanced Diet, Balanced Life: Eat healthily and eat whatever makes you happy. Chocolate always improves moods, and if you’re a fan of salt or spice, go for that too! Happiness will help you rest easy and erase the chances of any dark cloud forming, and a part of that happiness comes from eating food you treasure.
   

4. Practice Hobbies: A fan of music, dance, art, or related things? Then just take some time out of your schedule and practice them. Listening to music uplifts your heart. Dancing eases tension in the body. Art visualizes whatever you may be feeling and helps you get a better picture of how to help yourself. Along with being a very healthy coping mechanism, of course. Life is nothing if not doing what you love.
   

If you’re an outsider to this particular problem of men’s shunned mental health, then reach out to the men you care about and let them know they’re valid and have a shoulder to cry on. Or, if you’re not as close or afraid of being too forward, just engage in normal conversation and try to cheer them up, regardless of how their mental status may be.

Written By- Maleeha Asif Damda